"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the room spins SO much faster in panama
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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