He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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