my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize