small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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