i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I cut my penus on the lid.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize