She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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