What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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