so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.