Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.