Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i think im in europe. pls send help