His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
