My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize