She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
