U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize