haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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