I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize