The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
