how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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