trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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