Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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