I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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