It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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