Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize