idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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