batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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