Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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