I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize