Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We had sex on a dog bed..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
