awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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