Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
false alarm. still invincible.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Of course I have a pirate flag
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
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