Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
third nipple confirmed
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize