Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
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I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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