Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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