Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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