as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
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I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
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It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.