wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home