Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?