Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
