My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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