I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough