The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked