i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!