Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
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I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's