He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo