Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The maid of honor just puked.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.