I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches