We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize