He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.