is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.