Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
