East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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