He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
People in love make me want to vomit
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
