You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
