I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
