Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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