So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
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He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize