Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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