i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
