Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Welp...herpes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize