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Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
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