toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.