Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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