And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I think I sprained my soul last night
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
